AUTUMN’S ADVENTURES

While I was traveling around Patagonia with Dave we met two french people surfing the same couch as us.  We ended up traveling with them for about a week after that and had a pretty good time.  I told one of the frenchies that I would be in Europe in January so we exchanged info and here I am, meeting up with him today to go check out Notre Dame.

The cathedral was huge and impressive though I’m not a giant fan of church touring in general.  To me they all look more or less the same, and they all have creepy statues of jesus dying in them.  Any they are dark and smelly and a little bit scary.  I do appreciate the stained glass windows though. They are probably the only things I enjoy seeing when I’m inside. While it was cool to say I was there, I didn’t stay for very long and I didn’t go up on the roof (8 euros to go up I was unwilling to shell out).

My french friend, Sebastian, and I continued walking around the island while catching up.  We ended up walking for a good 4 hours around the rest of the city, seeing various landmarks and famous streets.  By the end of it my feet were tired so he bought us some pain au chocolate and we went to his favorite cafe/bar in the city.  It’s a tiny little corner bar always full with loud, drunk french men.  We drank a coffee there and eavesdropped on the table next to us full of belligerent french guys on their lunch break talking about politics and sports.  The owner of the bar was the loudest and drunkest of them all, tipping back bottles of red wine with his hefty potato and meat stew lunch.   He was very opinionated and very funny, even though I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. Just watching his body language and listening to him was entertaining.  He even has a framed photo of himself holding a kings cane calling himself the king of the bar.

When I got back to the apartment, Nathalie and I decided to make a nice salad for dinner to celebrate our first night in her new place.

Nathalie woke up early to meet with a realtor about an apartment while I slept in and enjoyed the double bed that I had all to myself.  When I woke up I took a shower in the crazy multiple jet shower.  I turned on all of the knobs and was greeted by a bajillion different tiny streams poking at me like little needles.  I quickly realized this was not going to be a harmonious relationship so I shut off the tiny jets and took a normal shower where the water comes from above.  The water pressure was intense and so amazing that it made me forget about the little prickers attacking me just seconds ago.

When Nathalie came back to the apartment she brought me a coffee eclair to try.  YUM.  After our late breakfast we decided to take a trip to the palace of Versailles.  French citizens under the age of 26 are able to get into almost every tourist attraction for free, minus the Eiffel tower.  I had to pay about 16 dollars to get in.

Audio guides were included with the ticket so I was able to listen to the history of each room, it’s purpose and quirky facts about random objects.  The coolest things about the palace were the ceilings painted with murals and gold statues in almost every room.  One huge room had the biggest fire place I had ever seen.  So cool.  I have seen some pretty amazing things on the road but I have to admit that the architecture and the history of France is so impressive.  It really tucks the US as a youthful nation into it’s cradle…

That night we drove to Camille’s mom’s house to make dinner and drink some wine before going out in Paris.  Camille was taking us to a really popular disco in Paris so we had to make sure we were dressed properly, wearing a suit jacket and a dress.  We waited outside in the cue for about 20 minutes before Camille managed to get us in somehow.  The music was house music and some pop hits from the US.  We bought one drink each and it cost me 17 euros including tip.  It was apple juice and vodka in a tiny cup that I finished in about 5 minutes.  The club was packed. We started dancing and out of the corner of my eye I saw this huge monster coming towards us.  As it got closer I realized it was a tranny-version of Lady Gaga wearing platform shoes and a string that wrapped around his body and up his butt crack, forming one giant complicated thong.  I looked around some more and saw another tranny, more dainty but still towering over the crowd in his tall shoes.  I was so into the trannies. Oh what a night!

We left Damelevieres in a frenzy with bags and arms flapping while we made sure we weren’t forgetting anything as we said our goodbyes.  I spotted this funny box on my way out the door and had to snap a photo of it.  As we drove out of their little town I spotted a truck with the words “Love France” printed on the side. I couldn’t help but think to myself “yes, that is exactly how I feel right now, truck. Thank you spelling it out for me.”

When we arrived to Paris we met up with Nathalie’s good friend Camille at her boyfriend’s apartment.  We were going to stay in that apartment for the next few days while Nathalie found her own apartment.  Camille wasn’t staying with us, she was just giving us the keys since she was staying at her mom’s while her boyfriend was out of town working.  When I walked into this apartment all I could think of was one word: Ikea.  It was a total mod-bachelor pad equipped with a giant flat screen TV with surround sound, all white furniture and a red bathroom containing a shower with those multiple jets that shoot out at you.  Not to mention the cool view of other Paris apartment buildings from the giant floor to ceiling windows.  I dug it and couldn’t believe I was staying in such a nice place for my first few days in Paris.  I was definitely excited to try that shower out and see what all the fuss was about.  The gods are shining down on me for sure.

When Camille left us to get settled in we decided to take a drive around to see the major monuments at night.  It was really cool to see everything lit up and to be in the crazy night traffic around the arc of triomphe.  My head was out the window like an excited dog, numbed by the zero degree wind but too happy to care.  I saw lovers walking on the sidewalk, stopping to take photos together in front of the eiffel tower.  This city really is bubbling with romance.

We drove to the Montmartre district and checked out the Moulin Rouge all lit up.  We were hungry so we parked and decided to eat at the Flunch.  I was intrigued by the name alone but once inside I knew that I made a grave mistake.  It was like the college cafeteria all over again. I asked Nathalie if Flunch stood for Fast Lunch which she replied “Yeah, that would make sense.”

Tired from the long drive we settled on the couch and watched a marathon of Season 1: My Name is Earl.  Nathalie loves their accent so she always asks me to talk like them so we can practice talking like Earl together.  I’m now naturally talking like white trash with a southern twang thanks to her.

Today was my last full day in Damelevieres and though was sad to leave I was also excited for the last dinner — but we’ll get to that later.  To start off the day, Nath, Baptiste and I went to Nancy to coat shop for Bapt and then they took me to the Fresh Market to show me where their dad buys all of the food that he makes.  It was so amazing to be there and to see the hundreds of different cheeses in giant blocks.  The exotic fish and the live crabs and other shelled fancies.  The fruit was beautiful and expensive but not as expensive as the truffle mushroom, which costs almost $3,000 USD per kilo and look like baby elephant turds.  Apparently it is very hard to find and people use pigs to sniff it out and dig it out from under trees.  Maybe someday I will try it…

Now onto the dinner!  Both sides of the grandparents came to the dinner so the table was full and excited for this awesome meal.  To start, we had smoked mackerel with lemon followed by foie gras and smoked duck over a bed of spinach and pine nuts.  For the main course it was what I had been waiting for — escargot!  They were in porcelain “shells” to retain heat but normally they are served in their own shells.  The sauce was a parsley and butter sauce which you dipped bread into after you ate the escargot.  I liked it, loved it, wanted more of it. So I did. I ate about a dozen.  For the first dessert, it was none other than, you guessed it - cheese!  After that was the real dessert of gauffre, or powdered waffles.  I brought maple syrup from NY so the family tried some of the waffles with that. Yummy!

To end the night, Nath, Bapt and I played a french game called Yam.  I actually learned how to play this came in Jujuy but I forget what they called it.  Needless to say, I lost at Yam too…

This afternoon was another culinary experience at Nath’s grandparent’s house.  It started out with trying Patis, a famous french liquor made from anis.  I knew I probably wouldn’t like it because I am no fan of the flavor of anis but I tried it anyway.  It was mixed with some other juice or something but it was still too strong of a flavor for me so I took one sip and thanked them for letting me try it.  Then her grandma poured me some porte wine from Portugal but even that was too sweet for me.

For lunch we had pote lorraine which was different sausages and pork steaks slow cooked until the meat is so tender it almost melts in your mouth.  There was also a beet salad that was so good that I ate it up before I remembered to take a photo.  The beets came from her grandmother’s garden in the back yard. For dessert we had mirabelle and her grandfather had me try mirabelle liquor that he made in 1965.  Usually you pour the liquor over the mirabelle fruits and eat it like that but he had me take a cube of sugar, dip it in the liquor, put it in my mouth and chew.  He said it would take the edge off but it was still the strongest and most intense mix of burning in my mouth.  It took me a few minutes to recover after that one.  Nath told me her other grandpa used to gargle the mirabelle liquor every morning, to clean his throat and keep him from getting sick.

After lunch we went to Nath’s other grandma’s house to chat with her for a hot second.  She served us chocolates in the shape and color of mini golf balls while I listened to them catch up in French.  She had two tiny fridges covered in magnets from the US.  I got a kick out of that.  Since I couldn’t speak to her in English, I pointed to each magnet that I’ve been to and tried to explain with my hands that I’d visited or lived there.  She either thought I was a crazy person, banging at my chest to indicate “ME HERE” or she understood. I’ll never know.

We were meeting up with Mimi and her boyfriend for dinner tonight so we decided to make brownies to bring with us.  We bought all of the ingredients versus buying a box and throwing in some eggs.  I was worried that they wouldn’t turn out because I was converting the measurements from cups to grams and brownies are so finicky.  An hour later, we pulled them out of the oven and they were PERFECT.  I’ve never made perfect brownies before.  These had a flaky top layer and were super moist in the center.  I patted myself on the back for that one.

When we arrived to Mimi’s, we were greeted by an autistic cat that wouldn’t let us go up the stairs.  It was a cute cat but something scared me about it being autistic as I’ve never known a cat to have such a diagnosis.  It even had it’s own mini cat couch.  But that doesn’t top what I saw when I walked into the kitchen.  I look down and see a giant white bunny at my feet, hopping around like it’s the owner of the house.  This thing was so domesticated it was insane.  It came to snuggle with me a few times and proceeded to get white hairs all over my new black sweater.  We played poker after dinner and I lost.  First bowling, then this? I was on a losing streak…

Nathalie had some errands to run today so I accompanied her to Nancy.  She brought me to this bakery that makes her favorite pain au chocolat and then we checked out a few stores and Place Stanislas, the famous and most beautiful plaza in France according to Nath and her family.  It was hard to photograph it, being it was so big and all, but it was pretty and gold and stuff.

For dinner we went to this restaurant chain called Hippopotamus which is a steak house.  A bunch of Nathalie’s cousins and their girlfriends/boyfriends also joined us for this dinner.  Nath told me that I had to try bone marrow so I did (and I liked it).  I also ordered a rare steak and it was a perfect blueish-red hue.  What a hunka meat I tell ya. YUM.

After dinner a handful of us went bowling around the corner.  I’ve internationally bowled only one other time in Buenos Aires.  I always have fun bowling but I never win.  In fact, I always come in last.  I don’t really care though because I’m only in it for the neon lights and the slippery shoes.  And it reminds me of the Big Lebowski.

Today we got a late start but I still ate croissants for breakfast.  This time I drank coffee from a bowl instead of a mug.  Before Nathalie poured the coffee into the bowl I thought it was going to be used for our fruit so I went to go get us some mugs and she said “we already have the mugs on the table”.  I was confused so I asked her why we would be drinking coffee from a bowl and she said, “I dunno, I suppose it is big enough for dipping the croissants in.”  There you have it.

For lunch Nath’s father brought out 8 different kinds of cheeses and fresh bread.  He said “I hope you don’t mind, we are only eating cheese for lunch.”  I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a wonderful thing in my life.  He told me there were over 300 different kinds of cheeses in France alone so I had a lot more to try on this trip.  We started with the goat cheeses then worked around to the hard cheeses and we ended with the brie and roquefort.  What a perfect melody of flavors and a perfect lunch.

For dessert we ate a special cake called la galette (three king’s cake) made of almond flour, eggs and other magical ingredients.  It had a trinket or la fève in the center and whoever found the charm was king for the day and got to wear the crown.  Nath’s mother was the “king”.  In tradition, the youngest person in the house has to climb under the table and call out the people who get cake and where to put it.  Baptiste was the lucky youngin’ under the table this time.  The cake’s center was a custard-like filling called frangipane and it was so moist and rich and delicious (of course it was delicious, everything I’ve tasted has been delicious. I need to consult my thesaurus for more variety to describe this wonderful food).  I am going to get the recipe from Nath’s father so I can make a paleo version of this rockin’ cake.

In the afternoon we headed to Nath’s grandparents house to chat with them. They were the loveliest little grandparents I’d ever met and they had the coolest tree wall mural that reminded me of my name and of fall in New York.  They were so excited to tell me all about Florida and showed me their USA souvenirs like a russel stover’s valentine’s heart box and a US flag and an air force baseball cap.  Her grandfather was a pilot so that explained the air force cap enthusiasm.  We looked at photos from their trips to the US and they told me they went up in the twin towers top floor in January before the terrorist attacks.

They also showed me a photo of the previous owner of their house along with a star of david patch that was from the Holocaust.  They said that the woman escaped and abandoned the house only leaving a photo of herself and the star of david behind.  I couldn’t believe I was holding a piece of history in my hands, let alone a history so horrible and sad.  After watching Inglorious Basterds last night, it was strange to be seeing evidence of the real war right in front of me.  I was emotionally stirred by the whole thing.

After leaving her grandparent’s house we went to her cousin’s house and played with his two sons who were 4 and 1 years old.  I played the wii with the 4 year old until my arms felt like they would fall off.  I love the friggen wii.

That night we went to dinner at a chinese restaurant with her brother, his girlfriend and Nath’s friend Jess.  I tried Leiche for the first time and it was really delicious.  After Chinese we went to a house party for the birthday party of Nath’s two cousins.  The apartment was cute and small and full of frenchies.  Most of the artwork on the wall was a tribute to NYC which I was happy to see.  Once people found out I spoke English everyone wanted to practice with me.  When the party got too crowded the owner started kicking everyone out so we left and went to another friend’s house in the city and did tequila shots.  The funniest thing I saw in their apartment was this.  Oh what a night.

Today we woke up at 9:30 to go shopping and sight-seeing in Strasbourg which is 1.5 hour drive from Damelevières and home to the famous astronomical clock.  Since it is located on the border to Germany, the city has an infused culture of French and German where they also speak a special infused language called Alsatian.

For breakfast I had my first crossaint of the trip and it was filled with chocolat noir.  C’est délicieux!  Nath’s mother poured me coffee in the biggest mug I’ve ever seen and I was delighted to drink it all.  I also tried my first french raw cheese that came from Nancy.  I also ate a piece of bread made with flaxseed in the center and with homemade jam made from the mirabelle plum/prune which is native to their area and is delicious.

In Strasbourg we walked around looking at the beautiful architecture while the wind ripped our faces apart.  It was so cold that we decided to go straight to lunch at a winstub, or a german pub/wine cellar that serves typical food from the region.  Nathalie and I ordered 2 things and split them.  We also ordered some delicious white wine — a pinot blanc.   I ordered the choucroute garnie (which looks like a plate of animal penises) and Nathalie ordered rognon (kidney) with spätzle (potato pasta).  They were both delicious though I probably couldn’t eat kidney all of the time.  They had a bowl of strong yellow mustard on the table so I made sure to put that on everything to give it that zingy pop that I love.

After lunch we walked to the giant cathedral and went inside.  It was enormous and it had beautiful stained glass windows and was where the astronomical clock was housed.  We didn’t get to see the clock in action because it only goes off once a day at noon and you have to pay 2 euros to watch it happen.  In one part of the cathedral they had this giant drain-like cover in the floor and if you looked down into it you could see that a shit-ton of people had thrown coins and bills down there.  What a waste of money.

We walked from shop to shop trying on clothes and admiring things we couldn’t afford (like Svarski crystal).  I’m in the market for a simple long black vest (to hide my belly’s pride of food).  I didn’t find anything that fit and flattered my figure (or my budget) so I just bought some souvenir postcards and helped Nathalie shop.  I really enjoyed walking around Strasbourg even though the weather was beating me down.  The town is so quaint and cute and everything is perfect.  Our last stop before we headed back to Damelevières was a shop that sold espresso machines and gourmet espresso “pods” like Tassimo sells coffee pods in the US.  The company was called “Nespresso”.  I was amazed at how elegant the store was and how I wished the US had Nespresso stores available.  There were a bajillion flavors lining the walls and they even sold chilled chocolate and told you what coffee paired well with each chocolate.  I was in heaven.  Their most recent commercial features John Malkovich and George Clooney but old Georgie boy has been their main guy for all of their commercials.

It started snowing heavier later in the day so our trip back in the car lasted 3 hours instead of 1.5  I slept for most of the ride.  At one point Nathalie pointed out a huge line of trucks that had parked in the left lane of the highway on the opposite side.  She told me that they are required to stop driving when the weather is bad but she didn’t understand why they took up one lane of traffic, especially the inside lane.  And this line of trucks was super long.  It was pretty crazy.

When we got to the house Nathalie’s father had prepared a traditional meal called Raclette which is kind of similar to fondue except you cook slices of cheese on a hot plate and then pour it over boiled potatoes.  You can also cook bacon in with the cheese which of course I was delighted was an option.  There are other various cold cuts and salamis on the table while you are waiting for your cheese to heat up.  Aside from the raclette there was an endive salad with walnuts and a vinagrette dressing.  I had never tried endive before and now I am in love.  For dessert her father made banana flambé with vanilla ice cream and bergamont sweet crackers.  So far I have not had a single disappointing or half-assed meal.  How did I get so lucky?  I’m also supposed to try homemade foie gras as well as snails.  Her family likes that I am willing to try any food they put in front of me so they want to make me everything.  Again, I’m super lucky.  I drank a pinot noir from 1999 that is apparently a big deal among us Yankees.  Nath’s parents told me that they used to buy it all the time but then the Americans started buying so much of it that the price skyrocketed and it wasn’t worth it to buy that anymore so they stopped buying it.  And the supply to the locals was limited because the company would rather sell it at a jacked up price to the Americans.

After dinner the parents went to bed and me, Nath, her brother and his girlfriend, Oriane watched Inglorious Basterds.  They put the movie in English with Subtitles but that didn’t really help me out because half of the movie is in spoken French and German so I didn’t understand what was going on and Nathalie had to translate it for me anyway.  If you haven’t seen the movie yet, I highly recommend it.

I’m still jet-lagged which I guess is good because I had time to write these posts at 3am…but I’ll probably regret not forcing myself to go to sleep earlier.  Oh well, C’est la vie!

After two months of laying low and resting up in New York and spending some quality time at home with the family, I am finally on the road again and living it up, international-style.

I arrived to Paris at 11am French time/5am New York time. My friend Nathalie picked me up and we drove directly to her parents house, 3.5 hours to Damelevières, Lorraine, France which is 20 minutes outside of the city of Nancy.  When we arrived to Nath’s parents house she gave me a tour and I met her mother, brother and father.  Her brother speaks English but her parents only speak a little bit of English so I am really trying to learn some basic french so I can at least talk to them on a comparable level in French.  If they are willing to make the effort with me, it is only fair that I do the same in return.  And also, not knowing a language sucks when everyone around you speaks it.

I smelled like super B.O. from my long travels so I changed my shirts and then we all headed to a restaurant called La Gavotte to eat the best crêpes in Nancy.  They are like the crêpes in Brittany, France, which are the best crêpes in France.  We drank apple cider wine with our meal because they told me that is what you drink with crêpes in Brittany.  My crêpe of choice was filled with mushrooms, bacon bits, a sunny side up egg and cheese (probably my four favorite ingredients!).  It is made with buckwheat flour that gives it the darker color and is only used for salty crêpes.  It was freaking delicious.  I also tried some of Nath’s dad’s crêpe which had cow intestine in it.  It wasn’t so bad.  For dessert I got a crêpe with butter and blackberry jam.  It was lighter and made with a different flour.  It was also delicious.

After dinner the whole family went to a small rock concert in a bar called Le Vertigo Cafe.  Nathalie’s cousin is in the band that was playing that night so the whole family came out to support him.  I really liked that about her family since I’m all about family gatherings these days. Her cousin plays the keyboard and the band was more or less experimental rock music, heavy instrumental long jam sessions.  They were good.  I met Nathalie’s friend Mimi who is an English teacher in Nancy.  She was really nice and she invited me to speak to her class in English some time this week.  We drank a lot of Stella Artois and the night ended somewhere around 1am.  I was surprised that I made it through the whole day without sleeping since I was so jet-lagged all day long.  When we got to Nathalie’s room I couldn’t wait to shut my eyes and rest my body.

After draining my funds in Patagonia and adding 10 pounds to my waist (thanks, ice cream!) , I was afraid to take my planned trip to Mendoza, Santiago (Chile) and Valparaiso (Chile) on my way home to New York.  To come home with SOME money left in my account, I decided to cut my trip in half. I spent 2 days in Mendoza, 1 day in Santiago and 1/2 day in Valparaiso.  I’m not sure if that was enough time, it probably wasn’t, but I left satisfied.

In Mendoza I did a self-guided bike tour of the wineries with a dude from Boston that I met in my hostel.  I wasn’t sure how much I trusted myself on a bike while drinking copious amounts of wine but in the end I came out in one piece and I really enjoyed it, even if my crotch didn’t so much.

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