AUTUMN’S ADVENTURES

I’m kind of anal when it comes to my health, especially with my teeth.  I have never had a cavity in my life due to “hard teeth” and a strict brushing & flossing regimen.  The only invasive surgery I’ve had in my mouth was getting my molars removed which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Laughing gas has to be one of my most favorite drug experiences ever.  I actually enjoy going to the dentist as well. It’s like my mouth has been to the car wash and I treated myself to the turtle wax finish.

I have been in Argentina for almost 9 months.  Once I realized this and realized that I normally go to the dentist every 6 months, as advised, I quickly called up my yoga teacher who also happens to be a dentist.

I showed up to my appointment, eager to see how much different it would be from the States.  For starters, the exam room was bright lime green.  Even the exam chair was green to match the walls and the cabinets.  It was amazing, to say the least.  I am fond of the color lime green.  The room was anything but sterilized and organized, with tons of green plants spilling out onto the porch, a bottle of soda on the sink and tools and creams randomly placed everywhere.  This was definitely Argentina’s way of doing dentistry — totally laid back.  He was playing some jazz in the background and wore jeans and a t-shirt.

I sat in the chair as Sergio, my yogi-dentist prepared my cleaning.  He didn’t put a “bib” on me to catch the flying spit, he didn’t wear gloves or eye protection — he just let my mouth juices spray all over his face and my chest like we were having a “wet ‘n’ wild” competition — who could leave the room with more of my spit on them by the end of the exam.  I’d say he won as his face was closer than my chest.  It didn’t seem to bother him at all.

The exam didn’t take long. At the end he pulled out this tube of fluoride that looked like pink hair gel and tasted probably the same (as I’ve never tried to eat hair gel before).  When I was done I paid him the 30 pesos for the exam which is less than 10 USD.  Not too shabby.

I admit. I have an addiction. This addiction is just as unhealthy as smoking or chewing tobacco.  Maybe it is even as bad as crack cocaine, and they look similar too!  This addiction I speak of is refined sugar.  I just can’t get enough.

When I decided to try out the paleo lifestyle I couldn’t believe how easy it was to give up salty bread products, potatoes, pasta and rice.  But when it came time to say goodbye to the cookies, chocolates, cakes, pies, muffins and other flour-powered, sugar-packed sweet treats, I couldn’t say goodbye.

If I couldn’t kick it straight away at least I would try and manage it at a semi-healthy level.  For the most part I have it under some sort of control (portion control, that is) but I hit rock bottom today and I can’t look myself in the mirror and be proud to call myself a primal blueprinter, paleo queen, cavewoman of the 21st century…nothing.  I’m just an addict, a weakling, a sugar whore.   At this moment of sinning I realized that my brain had control of me and not the other way around.

What horrible thing did I eat containing sugar that could make me have such a mental paleo breakdown?  A. Fucking. Donut.  And not those light and fluffy feels-like-your-eating-a-cloud Krispy Kreme type doughnuts.  NO!  This doughnut was like a 10 pound mass of densely fried dough that had at least an inch thick of sugar coating it on the outside.  It was a sugar monster for sure and every bite made me think I was one step closer to death.  But it was damn delicious.

Why did I do it?  Well, hmm…other than my non-rational part of the brain kicking in, the only semi-rational explanation I could come up with at the time was “holy shit a DONUT in JUJUY! I haven’t seen or had one of these since I lived in the States!”  I was feeling nostalgic. I was feeling homesick.  I was making excuses, basically.  If I were actually in the US I wouldn’t even blink at a donut.  Ok, I would…I do find a good glazed, powdered or cream filled with chocolate covered donut to be quite delicious, but if I were paleo in the States I would not be running to find the closest Krispy Kreme.

I know it is just food.  I know that I know that it is bad for me and that I made the choice to eat it anyway.  Knowing these things doesn’t make the guilt go away and for someone like me who likes to be in control, feel good about myself and be more or less healthy, this fucking donut was more than just a delicious ring of sugar.  This donut showed me that there is one thing that has control over me, and that is sugar.

If I don’t eat a piece of chocolate or have some sort of sugary treat every day I at least have to have a piece of fruit to get my fix.  I cannot go a day without some type of sugar, natural or super-refined.  I’m trying to gain more control by finding healthier sweets recipes out there like almond butter and 100% dark chocolate cups but it’s like a needle in a haystack trying to find the healthy baking ingredients I need to make healthier sweet alternatives in Jujuy.

Being paleo in Argentina is great for the delicious (and cheap) steak, vegetables and fresh eggs but when it comes to sweets, Argentine’s LOVE their refined sugar…and so do I.

i fucking ate bunny rabbit tonight and drank 2 bottles of wine. it was so delicious beyond anything words can describe. i’m going back again tomorrow. BUNNY YOU ARE MY NEW MEAT! I LOVE YOU. and i’m a little bit drunk which is no way to write a post. i apologize now.

I am  6 days into my new lifestyle and I feel better than ever.  I did what everyone always says to do and gave up eating all forms of bread.  I even stopped putting sugar in my coffee and have only indulged in 2 cups of hot chocolate on a cold night in Tilcara in these 6 days.  I am used to getting a dessert with every meal to satisfy my sweet tooth but in 6 days I have had none.  This is an incredible feat for me and I feel really good about it.

It all started when Bobby made a convincing argument for Evolutionary Fitness and why he does it.  At first I was like…sorry, no can do, but then I thought about it for a hot second and took it as a challenge.  I told him I would go breadless with him for a week and see how I felt and if I could even do it.  On day 6 I am still going strong and actually feeling different in terms of hunger pangs and how much I actually eat.  I’m a freaking convert.  I still want sweets but I figure if I don’t eat them for a while my body will grow accustomed to not having them and they will eventually be too sweet for my tastes buds (as is the case with both James, my sister’s boyfriend and Bobby).

I don’t feel like I am torturing myself because I am giving up things that are not only affecting my weight but they are affecting my day-to-day.  Before giving up bread and most sugar I would eat a lot throughout the day and freak out if I got a tiny little hunger pang and run to the fridge.  I’d feel light-headed, get a headache and feel like my body was literally shutting down.  Argentina has a culture of eating bread for breakfast with coffee.  Sometimes the bread has sugar on it which is a double no-no.  For a snack they have the same thing that they eat for breakfast — toasted baguettes.  Where is the protein?!?!  I started to get used to this way of eating because I felt like an outcast, eating my hearty, protein rich American-style breakfast while my housemate was eating toast with marmalade.  How can they sustain themselves all day long on that type of diet? No wonder they take siesta — it’s their body shutting down from lack of energy.

Also, the things that I get to eat are actually things I enjoy eating and are easy and cheap to get down here.  Big cuts of beautiful red meat, green veggies, delicious fish, chicken breast…etc.  I haven’t found it hard at all to order these things on a menu or find them in the grocery store and throw them on the grill or in a pot.  I realize that I don’t need the bread to fill me up because I reach a satisfying full with the protein-filled meals I order.  For a while I was unintentionally eating the EF way because I enjoyed eating steaks and salads so much and they were so easy to cook.

I’ve learned so much from reading the two blogs that Bobby recommended to me to get started:
http://www.arthurdevany.com/
http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

I’ve become sort of a zealot with this lifestyle in these short 6 days.  I’ve already emailed my mom, little sister and a few other people to try it out or at least read about it.  I guess since I immediately started feeling the results I wanted to share it with everyone I loved who I thought could also benefit from it.

I’ll periodically update with my progress (or hopefully not, with my failure).  I don’t think I will fail because this lifestyle isn’t about punishing myself, but rather it’s about feeling better, more energetic and happier.