Autumn’s Adventures


Bidet Day!
September 24, 2008, 6:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

The weather is changing here from Winter to Spring.  When I arrived in Jujuy it was pretty cold — I had to wear cuddl duds and sweatpants to bed.  I also wore socks and a sweatshirt.  I then crawl underneath two heavy blankets.  Last night I woke up at 4:30 am sweating my buns off. (If I had any buns, so my theoretic buns).  I ripped off my socks and sweatpants but I was still hot so I had to take one layer of blankets off me as well.  I like the weather in between hot and cold, so I guess my favorite seasons are Spring and Fall.  Please let me know where I can find a place with these two seasons all year round so I can move there.

I worked on my laptop for 6 hours today in a new cafe called Bonafide Express.  I watched waitresses change shifts. I watched the day turn to night and the cafe empty and fill up again.  I wonder what they thought of my lengthy squatting.  I kept buying food and drinks even though my bladder couldn’t hold all that liquid (and I hate going to the bathroom because I have to pack up my laptop and bring it with me).  I like this new place because it has nice smelling soap and the smoke isn’t as overwhelming as the other places.  Carena never has soap and always is smokey.

After the cafe I went to a phonetics class with Alfredo.  I stood in the front of the class and talked about myself in English for about 5 minutes.  I tried to speak slowly since I know how much it sucks when people talk fast (in castellano) but I didn’t want to talk too slow and seem really strange to them.  They didn’t ask me very many questions so the teacher asked a lot for them.  When I was done talking the teacher asked me if I could come to another one of her classes, a first year class, and speak again.  It’s pretty cool being one of the only native speakers of English here.  I feel like I’m on a speaking tour and everybody wants to know the truth of my foreign land.  I don’t have all of the answers to their questions but I try my best to answer honestly and to the best of my ability without leaking too many of my personal opinions.  The students watched a video about the Grand Canyon.  The video was probably made 20 years ago, it kept cutting out and going fuzzy.  I wanted to tell the teacher to put on the Discovery Channel or the series Planet Earth.  Anything but this nonsense.   They’d learn so much more with better programming.

When class was over Alfredo walked me to the bus and told me all of his girl troubles.  Some crazy girl is playing with his heart and causing him lots of drama.  Thank heavens I have the good sense not to get into those situations anymore.  I’ve had my fill of bad relationships and I intend to stay out of them for as long as I possibly can.  I’m holding out for a good man — a Super Pancho, if you will…haha.  I tried to give Alfredo some words of advice but it is hard to do that in a foreign language, let alone my native tongue so for now I’ll just let him learn from his mistakes.

When I got home I ate a huge bowl of fideos con salsa, and then went upstairs to use the bathroom.  Why am I telling you this? This is a pretty important trip to the bathroom, that is why I mention it.  This trip marks the first time I will use a bidet ever in my life.  I have been thinking about trying it for about a week but I’ve been scared to do it.  I had way too many questions that required answers before I jumped on toilet number two.  There are three knobs, which one do I turn?  What way do I face — toward the knobs or away?  How do I dry off? How long do I stay on the bidet?  All of these questions went unanswered and in turn fueled my fear of the bidet.  BUT today I googled directions to prepare myself for the big bidet day.  Now I was ready.  I have to say it was one of the most refreshing moments of my life.  I’m hooked.  I kept humming the tune, “So fresh and so clean, clean” in my head while I washed my hands.  I don’t know why it isn’t common to use bidets in America — do we enjoy stank ass?  I know I sure don’t and will most definitely have a bidet in my permanent residence, whenever I decide to settle down.  Yay bidet!

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6 Comments so far
Leave a comment

When I lived in France, my bathroom had a sink and a bidet in it, but no toilet. You had to go downstairs for that. Any idea why? That made no sense to me.

Comment by Scott Barton

Hmmm…no idea. Maybe that bathroom was just for “freshening up” and not droppin’ loads.

pretty funny…haha

Comment by akbrookmire

fucking classic! reminds me of a similar scene in crocadile dundee.

“jelly or syrup?”. 😉

Comment by pete

Autumn,
I have a bidet in my house, because my parents are immigrants….and it’s beautiful. But i’ve always been so afraid to use it. It looks so….technical. Those directions definitely helped, and tomorrow I think that I’m gonna wash my vaj with it. Thanks for the inspiration.

P.S.
Your entries are awesome, and they make me miss you.

Comment by NIPPZ

NIPPZ,

for a second i was like, who the hell is NIPPZ? but now I realize that is it my one and only ralezbo. am I correct? I hope so. I can’t think of anyone else that would use the word vaj…

hugs and kisses. did you use the bidet? I LOVE IT.

Comment by admin

Me parece muy bien que te inicies en el uso del bidet, es muy fácil de usar y es mucho mas higiénico que el papel, el bidet sustituye al papel higiénico, o sea que, después de hacer tus necesidades usas el bidet para enjuagarse bien y luego lo mas normal es secarse con una toalla o en su defecto con papel. Algo a tener en cuenta es que si vas a usar agua fría combinada con la caliente, cuando termines de usarlo siempre te debes acordar de cerrar primero la caliente, no vaya a ser que te quemes.. PD: te escribo en castellano para que practiques un poco mi idioma.. jaja Saludos

Comment by Ariel




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