Autumn’s Adventures

Feelings of Loneliness
December 31, 2008, 9:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

Every year I spend New Years Eve in NYC with my dearest friends from high school and college.  Last year it was on the rooftop of an apartment building that overlooks the Chrysler Building and it’s festive green and red lights.  This year, I’ll be spending it with new friends and the entire experience will be different.  There will be no ball drop, no finding a random guy to make out with when the clock strikes midnight.  I’ll be eating dinner with a friend’s family at midnight while my besties in NYC will be wearing silly 2009 glasses and hats and toasting to the new year with champagne.  New Years Eve has always been the holiday that I looked forward to the most each year.  Especially in NYC where anything and everything can happen.  It’s a city full of possibilities and a night of complete surprises.   I have such high expectations for New Years Eve that I fear tonight will be a bust with my new friends in my new, small town, where no one has any money and the traditions are completely different.  The hype just isn’t the same.  The sheer excitement for that 10 second count-down to the new year doesn’t exist here.  I will silently and sadly be counting down in my head tonight and it just won’t be the same.
I know it sounds like I’m being a Debbie Downer and I should embrace change and new experiences but it’s hard having to give up your favorite holidays and substitute them with something less than spectacular.  I missed Thanksgiving, Christmas just lacked everything that makes it important to me (my family), and now I’ll be having a sub-par New Years.  But I chose this new life so I can’t really complain.  I can only sit in my own loneliness and make the best of it.  I just never realized how lonely I could get during the holidays and how much I would miss the old traditions, my family and my friends.  The hardest thing I’ve encountered in Argentina is battling loneliness and boredom because I have so much free time on my hands.  It is the hardest to fight during the holidays when everyone else around you has someone to be with and you have to work your ass off to make sure you aren’t alone for the holidays.  I’ll let you know how tonight goes, maybe this post will be a bitch session for nothing.  One thing is for sure, I miss you guys to pieces tonight.  Happy New Year!


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